The makers of Pyaar Ka Punchnama are back with their sophomore effort. The tagline of this film is 'After beating love to death, with AkaashVani they bring it alive at its craziest, wildest and mushiest best!! I feel it should have been â€œAfter beating love to death, we are beating love to death again! A bit differently thoughâ€. During Pyaar Ka Punchnama, I was laughing at a lot of the anti-women jokes. I felt a bit guilty somewhere. Hell, it was all in good humor. Here there is a scene where the characters sit and cry. It comes after they have been apart for several years. They simply just sit and cry. It's a sad scene. They have gone through such pain. Guess what? I was laughing. Oh yes, I felt guilty. Going by this principle, the makers of AkaashVani have achieved the same feat. Making people laugh and making them feel guilty at the same time. Only difference is that probably this wasn't their intention here.
The film begins with those typical â€œWhat a girlâ€ and â€œWhat a guyâ€ type introductions. Kartik Tiwari and Nushrat Bharucha play the lovers. Their first meeting, which by screenwriting definition is called the â€œmeet-cuteâ€, wants to be so unabashedly cute that it is anything but. For half an hour, we are bombarded with mush. Hey, I like mush but when the characters haven't exchanged even a single set of meaningful dialogue, it is a bit hard for me to digest the mush. For literally half an hour, they give each other â€œromanticâ€ glances, smile at each other and greet each other good night. There are two songs amidst the mushyment. It is not funny/ cute when two people sit in an auto rickshaw and row it like boat over a cute song in the background. Seriously. Who does that? Is that the idea of filmy romance? Loony bin alert. Romance is not music videos and people exchanging sweet nothings. This is the work of an amateur.
After all this, we finally get to see the lovers talk. This scene runs for about 5 minutes and we see them revealing some character. Guess what? They are talking about their honeymoon. No, they don't talk about their dreams or what they want to be or even spoon-feed us about what kind of people they are. They talk about their friggin' honeymoon! Worst part is that the honeymoon plan is exactly like what they were doing for the past 15 minutes. This was just the pre-intermission segment. My crestfallen face had disgust and revulsion to confront in the future.
Post-intermission the film becomes the opposite of romance (as if it ever was romantic). No, really think Sleeping with the Enemy (1991) (Yaarana, Daraar, Agni Sakshi, pick whatever you like). This is the stuff of TV soaps. Vani gets married off due to familial pressures to a male chauvinist who abuses her and rapes her each night. Heavy melodrama ensues. She has no backbone. What would happen if she did not marry an asshole? What if he was a good guy? I'm sure her backbone would face a serious challenge.
The lovers do meet again after years but start acting like kids again. These scenes are again set in their college. Wait, aren't they out of college now? Or are there some weird form of college reunions that I'm unaware of? Why can't we see them living life? Getting a job or probably revealing some other character trait other than - college kid.
They have two best friends. I'm tired of seeing stock characters like these. Do they not have a life? Nobody's lives center around their friend's love life. At a point I thought I'd much rather watch a love story between the best friends than watch this excuse for romance. That was before I saw them filming Akaash and Vani's intimate moments. Who does that? Get a life, people! By the end of the film, I was thinking I'd rather watch Divyendu Sharma (who played Liquid in Pyaar Ka Punchnama) doing a romantic comedy.
Kartik Tiwari's acting skills are deficient. For a character playing an English Hons. graduate, from St. Stephens that too, he needs a bit of diction lessons. At some places where he is supposed to look energetic, he looks like a creep. Nushrat Bharucha is fairly competent. If only she was in a better film. But let's not forget the melodramatic sub-plot that was unleashed. It must be resolved. You may argue that regressive situations like these still exist and it needs attention. Make no mistake, I'm not dissing the â€œissueâ€, only the film. The resolution that comes is not stereotypical. Yes, we do get a good scene. That's right, only one good scene but by now it is too late for the film to be salvaged. To top all of this, the film is incredibly long at 2 and a half hours. It is a sorry situation when we see a filmmaker like Luv Ranjan who could have made a film about a modern-day romance but chooses regressive material instead that bores and frustrates. AkaashVani is a dead romance.view less