I’m just according the same respect this movie, accords me as a viewer...so please bear with me as I take you through my ordeal.
HH:MM:SS - Event on Screen
00:00:00 to 00:01:29 – Columbia lady with a torch, movie title, Sandler wakes up in the morning with wife Hayek next to him and a huge deer in the room.
00:01:30 – Huge deer pees on Adam Sandler...gratuitous shot of pee going in mouth.
00:02:02 – Huge deer pees on Adam Sandler’s son, who’s taking a shower and/or masturbating.
00:04:01 – Sandler high-fives the mailman over sexist remark made about Salma Hayek’s “assets”
00:05:40 – Chris Rock’s not henpecked anymore and family cracks a poop joke --- Diaper “doo-doo” grenade.
00:06:10 to 00:14:22 – Kevin James and Maria Bello still lying their arses off to each other and their kids.
That final evil kid from ‘The Hunger Games’ shows up and turns out he’s David Spade’s son. Nick Swardson is the new Rob Schneider...only less funny and more irritating. Jokes attempted about people eating bananas out of their butts, mentally challenged kids, masturbation, and more diaper poop.
00:14:23 – Nick Swardson pulls out a cheetos from his nose and munches on it, bravo because it’s all done in one take!
00:14:35 to 00:23:00 – Attempted joke about fat hairy bellied men and ‘Baby GAP’, horrible ‘Weekend at Bernie’s’ tribute, Nick Swardson used as a human crash test dummy, attempted joke about sexual harassment at gyms with Jon Lovitz, bald people jokes, pepper spray jokes.
00:23:05 – Swardson takes a dump at K-mart in a display toilet...more poop jokes.
00:23:15 to 00:27:20 – Shameless K-Mart film product placement, Kevin James invents a word for farting, sneezing and burping at the same time and successfully implements it.
00:27:21 – Close-up on crotch from underneath, shot of tight gym shorts on man climbing a rope. Obligatory “Easter eggs in a basket” joke.
00:27:35 to 00:30:15 - Shaquille O'Neal shows up, more K-Mart product placement and more male pattern baldness jokes attempted.
00:30:15 to 00:31:55 – A bunch of guys ogle at, salivate at the mouth, act overtly lecherous at a teacher leading a ballet recital for little girls at a school, one of the girls being Sandler’s daughter. Easily the creepiest ninety seconds in the movie.
00:31:56 to 00:34:32 – Stone Cold Steve Austin shows up, some back-story about Adam Sandler being bullied back in school.
00: 34:33 to 00:35:19 – Movie’s longest poop joke involving a man bent over an ice cream machine and chocolate ice cream.
00:35:20 to 00:39:30 – Nothing really happens...or I zoned out.
00:39:31 to 00:43:01 - Arnold Schwarzenegger’s legitimate son, Stallone’s son from Rocky Balboa, that shirtless werewolf dude from Twilight and some random guy show up to bully Sandler and gang.
00:43:02 – Sandler, James, Rock and Spade jump off a cliff into the lake, buck naked.
00:44:12 to 00:49:21 – Spade rides a runaway tyre, projectile vomit jokes and some poop jokes.
Aaarghh, I can’t go on...If you’re still interested in watching the movie...it’s your funeral.view less