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(Lights are dim at Vishesh Films studio. After the success of Ek Villain, there is M. Suri deciding upon his next and to help him, are a few writers)
Writer 1 - Sir, after Aashiqi 2 and Ek Villain, expectations from you are huge. There are more and more creeps and weirdo stalkers and lover boys out in the street!
M.Suri – So this is it. It’s time to unleash my secret weapon, the ultimate saga of senti-ness, “Humari Senti Kahani”!
Writer 2 – Wow Sir, sounds amazing.
Writer 3 – But how do you plan to do it? How many actors and how many deaths?
M. Suri – Good question. I think three actors is good formula, let’s stick to it – Ek Villain, Ek Hasina , Ek Deewana. Regarding deaths, let all three die in this one.
Writer 1 – But sir, don’t you think killing the villain would give audience hope? Isn’t that what they would be wishing for.
M.Suri – You’re right. Let’s keep him alive and in the climax, we’ll resort to his ‘hridya parivartan’ and then he’ll live like soulless body so audience feel senti for him too.
Writer 2 – Excellent Sir, you are amazing.
Writer 3 – Also, we should take in some good actors this time, the only weakness we had the last time.
M.Suri- I need a mad crazy boy with stalker like eyes for lead. Somebody new, somebody I haven’t worked with.
Writer 1 – Sir, what about Emraan Hashmi?
M.Suri – Ohh perfect. Also, I want to bring in a ‘Maa ka pyaar’ wala element combined with some super senti-ness with regard to feminism. I feel Vidya is perfect for that and let’s bring that new boy, Shahid as the villain.
Writer 1 – Shahid Kapoor?
M.Suri – No, that boy who’s gaining a lot of attention these days for his acting. He was in Bhatt sahab’s Citylights!
Writer 3 – Rajkkumar Rao. Oh what a choice. Intellectual audience relates with him and that’s why he could be our perfect deceptive player!
Writer 2 – Wow Sir, sounds amazing.
M.Suri – Also, let’s play in symbols this time. It gives a poetic touch to the movie. I am looking for something white, filled with sadness.
Writer 1 – What about a white lilac sir?
M.Suri – Great. We’ll overuse it. We’ll make it a point that after the movie, everybody cries seeing it.
Writer 3 – Sir, that humard wala dialogue from Ek Villain got a superb response.
M.Suri- Yes my friend, it did. We’ll use a different language in the movie. The language of senti+creepy+mad love! Use very heavy hindi words like Banjara, kainaat, balidaan, panah and what not.
Writer 1 – We’ll do it Sir. We are the best team of writers. But what about the story.
M.Suri – Lets keep it a twist. An incomplete love story between a Emraan and Vidya. Vidya is married to Rajkumar but Rajkumar is not a good man. He is…
Writer 3 – A terrorist!
M.Suri – Bravo! They have a kid together and then this guy leaves his family to work for a terrorist organization. Vidya on the other hand is left alone (the abla naari/maa) with her kid and here we’ll bring in Maa Ki Mamta sadness level.
Writer 1 – We could also include feminism wala angle here.
M.Suri – Emraan being a millionaire falls in love with Vidya somehow and decides to take all her grieves and give her just happiness. Vidya has sex after 5 years!
Writer 2 – Wow sir! Sounds amazing.
Writer 3 – Let’s keep a back story for Emraan as well. Let his bachpan be full of hunger and poverty and fatherless. Let his mother work as cabaret dancer who falls in love with another man who suicides.
M.Suri – I like it number 3, you are my favorite. (Writer 3 blushes) But the other man’s suicide attempt will be unsuccessful for he is going into Coma bitches! Ultimate saga of senti-ness. When everything will go smooth, Rajkumar will return to claim his wife back and will attack her consciousness with all sanskar-shaadi shit and she will feel guilty to betray him and so on.
(All three writers stand up and salute him)
Writer 1 – Sir, you have come a long way. This movie is definitely hitting 100 crores.
Writer 3 – For all the creeps and weirdo lover-boys in the world, this movie will be an example!