Jab Tak Hai Jaan

Inspired by Meera (Katrina) whose one lame promise to God paved way for nearly 3 hours of torture, I also made promise to 'Sir Jejus', that please end this ordeal and in return I would go back to writing movie reviews, again. Since The Almighty took his own sweet time in fulfilling my wish, I also took more than a week to pen my views on Yash Chopra's last directorial Venture - Jab tak hai BeJaan...ooopss Jaan!!

JTHJ proves yet again my theory on not-so-curious-case of the two Superstar Khans. Both SRK and Salman Khan love to repeat themselves in majority of their movies as its their safest bet. Shahrukh Khan became 'The SRK' thanks to all his romantic avtaars on-screen on which girls drool on, and JTHJ is no different. His dialogue delivery, the mannerisms, dances and everything else is exactly the replica of dozens film he enacted in last two decades.

Yash Chopra was always known for showcasing her actresses in the most beautiful way ever. With Katrina he had perfect ingredient to garnish a mouth-watering recipe, and he doesn't disappoint a bit. Katrina looks sexy and ravishing through-out ( barring in the emotional scenes OR to be more precise, whenever she tries to 'act') which might be the reason SRK has broken his self imposed no-onscreen-kiss protocol. Anushka Sharma plays a happy-go-lucky and carefree girl, a character - which is so very rare in Bollywood flicks (Pun intended). She plays her part well and incidentally gets few of the best lines of the movie; also provides a much needed witty relief.

Apart from these minor blemishes, the main culprit of this 'Jaan-less magnum opus' is its ridiculous story, hackneyed screenplay, unrestrained editing and surprisingly charmless music by the Maestro (except Challa and Heer to some extent). Very rarely I see Aditya Chopra's stories making any sense and JTHJ re-assures my (dis)belief in him. Talking about the screenplay and editing, though first half is comparatively better, still intermission arrives tad later in the day after missing at least three potential junctures. Post intermission, movies drags in a pace which would even put snail to shame. At the climax, Samar (SRK) asks Meera (Kat) - "Itni Der lagaa dii Samajhne me". Exactly my feeling - She should have understood atleast one hours back to save us the anguish.The end-credits takes even more time than 'eternity' to be rolled-off on screen, but you would surely waste no time in jumping out of the theatres.

HSR Verdict: Jab Tak hai Jaan is surely NOT the dream vehicle to bid farewell to the Legend Yash Chopra. Saying that, all of us surely have quite a few of his classics in our closet (read - hard disk); so avoid this Be-Jaan flick (if you still have saved yourself) and watch some of his old classics at home, instead.

The tragedy of Jab Tak Hai Jaan is in it trying to sell soulful romantic idealism in drastically different contemporary times. The very idea seems assuredly outdated and the mechanisms difficult to approve of. The film's irrational story doesn't provide us with any strong character - none of the three pretty individuals who people this film are clearly etched, while their motivations do not always justify their odd actions. A jaded lover in England joins the Indian army and becomes a bomb-defusing expert because of his girlfriend's misplaced faith in God. The girl (played effectively by a tender Katrina Kaif) thinks their liaison will end up tragically because of an earlier barter. An over-wrought conflict; it reaches ridiculous heights and ends up making this film disproportionately melodramatic, even by the late Yash Chopra's standards.

Our hero is Shah Rukh Khan (Samar Anand), playing himself - the lover-boy to the hilt who first recognises his signs of affection for the affluent lass, and then appears genuinely apprehensive about the probable romance. We have seen this character before. We have seen Shah Rukh woo his woman with his playful charisma and committed intensity. But here, the actor seems a tad misplaced as his characteristics aren't exactly age-defying. The heroine, on the other hand, is swept off her feet soon as she's mastered Punjabi lyric, the initial reason of their cute-meet. The romance is ruined as a result of God-fearing Katrina and then Shah Rukh voluntarily takes the deadly job in the Indian army so as to defy death every day. So much that he doesn't even bother wearing a bomb-suit. Remember, his very reason to join the army is not patriotism. It is to prove a point.

Here's where we meet the annoyingly over-indulgent Anushka Sharma who wants to go to Afghanistan and Iraq to make documentaries, (har accent ke bandey ke saath sex karna hai). That's Aditya Chopra's idea of a contemporary woman, one that tries to off-set the collective old-school romanticism of SRK-Katrina. What happens later isn't worth explaining. I don't think it is even worth the view as it is an unnecessary and pretty much, unimaginative exercise in driving home the point of true love that conquers everything; even self-inflicted maladies.

Apart from ideological problems, the film has terrible logical lapses, one that includes a major mental condition. Shah Rukh, with his crippled memory strolls around London's tube station and memory miraculously is resurrected when the police declare the train unsafe as it is carrying a bomb. Of course, Samar Anand jumps to the rescue and can differentiate the red from the blue instantaneously. Back in India, we never even learn who sends the bombs and why at such exotic places. One absurd sequence includes SRK's half-hearted flirting with Anushka as he randomly cuts off wires he doesn't like.

There isn't anything wrong in trying to make old-school romance relevant. But Aditya Chopra's script doesn't possess the prowess to knock the point down and rather meanders aimlessly between London and Ladakkh, between cathedrals and camps. After a point it becomes an exhaustive exercise and the star power - all serious faces anticipating something dreadful that is about to occur - fails to captivate the viewers.

The underlying religious theme - of God being a constant reason for conflict is a strong element within the film that takes a good ten year's time to resolve itself, without much rational reasoning.

Like all good Bollywood films we shouldn't ask for too much logic, but the film isn't even laced with the profound lines or overwhelming music to compensate for. What it does have is performance and dreamy visuals. Especially by Katrina Kaif whose melancholia is hauntingly conveyed through her cautious dialogue delivery and a tender presence that is half guilt-ridden, while the other half tries to convince her of having done it all for the good. Shah Rukh Khan, well, is in his comfort zone and the careless abandon in which he revels in the first half is aptly replaced by an uptight gravity when playing in the army.

Jab Tak Hai Jaan essentially wants to assert the romantic idealism long associated with Yash Raj, but its narrative is marred with contrived plot points & misplaced religious ideas. The film's epilogue where we see Yash Chopra during the making of the film is more emotionally overwhelming than the 3-hour long and over-wrought melodrama.

When I first saw the trailer of Jab tak hai Jaan, I caught a glimpse of the old SRK and my heart did the old familiar skipping a beat routine. That's when I allowed myself to have some expectations from this movie.

Alas, that little glimpse was all I got of the old SRK. The sad part is that there are also no glimpses of a new SRK, someone who can act differently. Obviously, he has decided that jab tak hai jaan, he will be the old Shah Rukh Khan. But a 45 going on 28 just does not do it for me.

The story itself is astonishing. SRK is a young Punju boy trying to make it big in London. He meets a rich Indian girl, teaches her Punju song, she teaches him English in return, they do some random bad dancing, kiss and fall in love. OK, so far nothing out of the ordinary. Then it turns bizarre. You think it may be a rich v/s poor thing. But no, it's a man v/s God thing. He has an accident; she tells God that if He saves boyfriend's life she will never meet him again. And she leaves him.

He is devastated (by her stupidity I assume) and goes off to become a bomb expert in the Indian army courting death by not wearing protective gear. Then meets a chirpy young documentary maker who makes a film on him for which he comes to London where he has another accident and loses his memory, regresses 10 years and goes back to thinking he is with girlfriend. She plays along till she has to kiss him at which point she evokes the doctor's orders. Blah blah happens, and the story peters out like a defused bomb.

Thank God for Anoushka Sharma who injects a breath of fresh air into the proceeedings with her lively act, which of course is no different from her other lively acts. But at least its better than watching Katrina trying to cry in distress and managing to look like a child whose balloon flew away. She is wooden throughout out and if not for her luscious lips and white thunder thighs has nothing to offer. Poor Anupam Kher doesn't get to play his usual loony dad character and is disposed off after a scene and a half at the start (did they have a fall out?).

The chemistry between Kat and SRK is abysymal. She looks like a plump round Rossogulla in black dresses; he looks like a shrivelled gulab jamum, and the sickly sweet syrup in which they swim only makes you choke.

I think you had better regress 10 years yourself and watch some older Yash Raj films if romance is what you are looking for this holiday season.

Yash Chopra's labour of love, the last film by the legend, his swansong, his walk into the sunset and many more phrases are being used to describe the last outing by this maverick filmmaker.

With some big names attached to the project like Yash Chopra, AR Rahman, Gulzar, Shahrukh Khan, Anushka Sharma, Kat (in that order), one expects this to be nothing short of a romantic extravaganza, the likes of which Bollywood has never seen. So is it?

Alas, this one is a mixed bag of some soulful moments, great locales, decent acting, mediocre music & a very average story.

SRK is a poor musician in London who doubles as a waiter. He bychances to meet Katrina, a rich girl who wants to learn music from him. They fall in love but a sudden incident changes their course & Samar makes his way back to India & joins the armed forces as a bomb disposal expert. There he meets Anushka, a budding filmmaker who wants to make a film on him. I'll not divulge more on the story but just say that there are a few more twists & turns.

The first half is quite good & even the latter starts very well, but one cliched twist after another takes the story downhill. The ending is very disappointing. Another major letdown, surprisingly, is the music by AR Rahman.

A special mention for the stunning visuals & camerawork by Anil Mehta. The opening credit sequence will have SRK fans hooting. Shahrukh does a good job but its far from his best. He looks better here than he has in the last 3 years. Anushka for me is the best actor in the film & Katrina looks stunning & has truly evolved as an actor.

What can one say about Yash Chopra. He's given us decades of cinematic brilliance but sadly, not this one. The issue is not in the direction but in the story by Adi Chopra & Devika Bhagat. The beauty of this master director is that he takes a wafer thin plot and still weaves it into a 3 hour watchable film.

To sum it up, this might be his last but not his best. Had he been aptly supported by a stronger script & the right music, this one would have gone all guns blazing. Watch it once & soak up the moments & the superb visuals. A one time watch.

In Yash Chopra's Dil Toh Pagal Hai Karisma Kapoor screamed at god "tum galat ho". Year's later Jesus Christ plays an important role in messing up Samar Anand's (Shahrukh Khan) love life just because Mira (Katrina Kaif) is in a give and take relationship with him. The deal is He grants her a wish; she gives up something she loves. Her one wish changes the course of life for Samar Anand turning him into a bomb diffusion expert labeled "the man who can't die."

If there is a genre called leave your brains behind comedy then this would be leave your brains behind romance. You have to be a hardcore romantic to believe in the plot devices this film throws at you.

The film worked for me until the 2nd act but derailed completely in the 3rd act. The theme JTHJ explores is that every love story has it's time to be get fulfilled. Something like the Latin term Suo Tempore which means everything will happen at its own time. Rishi Kapoor and Neetu Singh's one scene beautifully delves into it. Wish it explored the theme better without bringing in sir Jesus to add to the conflict.

It didn't bore me to a large extent thanks to SRK and Anil Mehta's eye candy cinematography. In fact after Swades and Chak De this is the 3rd film in which I found SRK very good. Katrina tries hard to emote and get into her character but despite her best efforts her face refuses to show the required emotion. Anushka as Akira is in her bubbly girl template and at times looked like she walked out of that irritating ad she did for Reliance.

The film suffers from weak and lethargic writing even though Aditya Chopra's dialogues make it come alive at some places. For example the best line in the film for me was “jab ishq ke saamne khuda jhuk jaata hai toh waqt kya cheez hai. Usse toh badalna hi tha".

The Yash Chopra romance died for me from the time Aditya Chopra started writing films for his father. He bought the best talents in the world for him for this film but I wish he would have gone right with selecting a good writer.

The only time I saw the jaan in this film was in the end montage cut to the title track.

Word of mouth - Jab tak hai jaan deserves your 3 hrs only if you are a Yash Chopra or Shahrukh Khan fan.

Rating - *** (above average)

Ticket meter - worth 200 bucks.