Joker

If there was an option to rate below 0.5 stars, I would have, but I can't - so I'm generously donating this half star to Chitrangada Singh's 5 minute item number.

There was no story. Akshay Kumar makes me cringe - especially when he puts on an accent while speakingEnglish. Sonakshi Sinha is not an actress. She is just THERE with her waistline increasing as the movie goes on - I noticed this because well, I had nothing else to focus on, and my brain was on snooze wanting to wake up but didn't have a reason to because Joker was made by Jokers.

Shreyas Talpade was running around speaking some alien language. Minissha Lamba didn't speak at all. The White House, NASA, CIA, American military were all involved in the span of less than 2 hours. The other characters in the movie - not so much - until they all rain danced in oil which they found in Paglapur - where the movie is set - where everyone is NUTS.

Joker is not one of the the worst - but THE WORST movie I have ever watched in my life. Post the movie my friend and I ran through a list of bad movies and the only one that came close to being as bad as Joker was TMK.

Every month or two we get a big movie that everybody is looking forward to. Ek Tha Tiger and Cocktail were the ones that came recently. Then there are movies which have big stars like Ajay Devgn or Akshay Kumar that has bad word of mouth (even before the release of the film) and the marketing is unable to sell the movie. Joker, like Bol Bachchan, is one of those movies that don't manage to gather enthusiasm or expectations. This could fall in its favor or not. In case of Bol Bachchan, it fell in its favor as it had low expectations but turned out to be sufficiently entertaining. Joker will not. It doesn't have low expectations but it also has a strong collective bias. This bias that this film will not be good, will make many people either not visit the theater or hate it even if they do. As a character says in the movie Kaam chod ke jaadu ka show dekhne koi nahi aayega. To be honest, I was unimpressed by the trailers as well. But something happens when the lights go down and the film starts playing, that I shake off all the hype and bias, start on a fresh page and take the film as how it appeals to me.

Joker begins with Agastya (Akshay Kumar) who has been working on a project to contact the aliens. Two years of effort has led to nothing. He is told that his father is on his death bed and goes to his hometown of Paglapur. Paglapur happens to be a city that is not on the Indian map and a prologue informs us why. Agastya's girlfriend (Sonakshi Sinha) accompanies him. She hates Paglapur and doesn't particularly want to go there. She is us. We don't want to go here either and scorn at each bizarre encounter. But slowly she begins to accept the town of Paglapur. Well, Shirish Kunder definitely showed me the passage. For about an hour, I was thoroughly entertained. The jokes were funny, the story was interesting, the production design was luminous, and there was one good song. I wasn't bored even for a second.

The story also has some bits of Swades (2004). A warped version of Swades, that is. Agastya and the townsfolk make crop cricles and put on a show of the aliens arriving. Till here, the film is entertaining. It also had its downside as this hoax begins to get tedious; there is also a redundant romantic sub-plot of Shreyas Talpade and Minissha Lamba. In the final hour, it gets a bit stretched and I was losing interest. Well, to be honest, you might not even get there. You might have given up on this film already. I almost gave up on it too but the "Aanewala Aayega"song came on and it put a smile on my face again. There is an antagonist called Simon (his name is Simon Goeback, which I thought was pretty funny) and he is out with guns chasing Agastya to shoot him down and expose his sham. I wasnt with Simon here, I was the one running with Agastya. You know why? Because I was having more fun.

I don't care what Shirish Kunder does in his real life. All I care about is what I see on screen and I enjoyed Jaan-E-Mann (2006), his debut film as well. This also brings me to Ra.One (2011). It was obviously faced with similar contempt, as Joker will receive. I enjoyed that film too. As a massive fan of sci-fi and fantasy, (If there can be a bias towards a movie, there can also be a bias for the genre right?) I even enjoy the bad stuff (Yes, I'm talking the B-grade 1940s Hollywood films). Ra.One had good marketing and a lot of buzz and that happened to work against it as people in India just don't respond to sci-fi or fantasy, because, well, let's face it is done badly. Joker and Ra.One both are bad movies in that sense as for a fantasy film to be plausible (not even realistic) you need to make it with either exemplary visual effects that are as authentic as possible or a story that has no shred of stupidity. This genre doesn't belong in the realm of commercial Bollywood filmmaking.

Yes it isn't a good film but Joker, with all its idiocy, is my guilty pleasure of the year for the simple reason that it is fun. Not something with violence in slow-motion, not a remake of a South Indian film but good old Bollywood frivolity. Even if you don't enjoy this film as much as I did, please give it a chance, it just might not be as bad as you think. I'm still wary of recommending it because you might already hate this film. I'd take this over Tees Maar Khan (2010), which had a similar story of people putting up an elaborate hoax (which Farah Khan directed, not Shirish Kunder as popular opinion suggests). Hell, I'd even take Joker over Koi Mil Gaya (2003). At least it wasn't a shoddy remake of one of my favorite films ever and the real aliens didn't look like something made out of pulp and cardboard, the fake ones did.

The problem with Joker is not the movie but the Director. Shirish Kunder, thanks to a series of highly publicized spats with stars like Shah Rukh has managed to get himself a pretty bad image. No one seems to like him much in the film industry. Even Akshay and Sonakshi refused to promote the film. (Which I think is pretty silly. Ek baar commitment di toh you have to go all the way) We, the people, do not know him personally but form our opinion from what we read and so dislike him too. And then we put on our biased spectacles and prepare to dislike a movie before watching it.

Of course, that is not to say that this is a great film. But its not a disaster either. It is juvenile in its humour (a village full of mad men is the kind of play we all have done at least once in our school life) but once you have regressed to being say around 8 years (and what is movie watching but a transporting of our dreary cynical sleeves into a more fanciful world?) then you will get the jokes and enjoy this goofy movie.

Akshay Kumar plays a scientist trying to contact aliens. His village, populated by crazies, descendants of escapees from a madhouse, is left out of the map of India and so is nobodys responsibility. Akshay and his girlfriend Sonakshi try to bring the spotlight on to their village by pretending that aliens have landed there. The crazy farce that follows it is reminiscent of the media frenzy in Peepli live! (not comparing ! just saying!) Anyway, it all expectedly ends well. Kids movies usually do.

Akshay and Sonakshi look like they are enjoying themselves. Sonakshi doesnt have much to do anyway. Chitrangadha is a disappointment. She should be satisfied with the fact that she is labeled a talented and intelligent actress and not try to achieve item girl status too. One cant be everything.

Take the kids and enjoy this movie. There are no romantic scenes, no vulgarity (Chitrangadha fails), some good jokes and a pretty different story. Which is a lot more than one can get out of any movie these days. I know I will get beaten up by my fellow MJs who have trashed the movie but I liked Joker.

The best part about Sirish Kunder's Akshay Sonakshi starrer Joker is that it runs for an hour and forty five minutes only. Mercifully, one has to bear this film for not a minute longer and for this one feat alone, the director deserves an pat on his back. Rest of the film however, is as insipid and tasteless as the directors Twitter diarrhea.

Akshay plays Agastya a scientiest trying to communicate with aliens. A death in the family brings him and his wife Sonakshi to this village Pagalpur, inhabited by seriously mad villagers and off the map of India. Agastya decides the only way to put the village onto the nation's conscience is to fabricate a lie about alien sightings.

All works well until real aliens land up and the already mad village goes even more mad.

On paper and in concept the story line of Joker sounds pregnant with possibilites. A madcap alien adventure and a metaphor for the thousands of forgotten vilalges in India which have to take the route of a sensational news item to get noticed- A commercial version of Peepli Live if you may.

In reality, with Kunder at the helm, Joker ends up being an insufferable farce. Neither does the film work as a brainless entertainer, nor does it have enough meat to sustain an out of the ordinary sci fi tale.

The people of Pagalpur are mad to the point of being demented. The aliens tacky, ugly and straight out of an 80's Ramsay horror film. The film is inundated by inane gags that dont even make you smile leave alone leve you in splits.

The writing is uninspired, ameteurish and seriously kindergartenish in nature.

Akshay Kumar plays to the gallery and is his usal loud self. Sonakshi content with being an eye candy in songs does more of the same thing she has done in her last two outings.

Shreyas Talpade makes you feel sorry for him seeing such talent being criminally misused, Minisha Lamba is as confused about her role as is the director who got her into the film int he frist place. Rest of the cast hams through scenes in costumes that look like left overs from Lagaan's sets.

There is mandatory item number thrwon in, aliens do tumkas and jhatkas, mad running around happens and the film mercifully comes to an end before you could take that last step off the cliff.

Janeman, Tees Maar Khan and now Joker, perhaps this would make Kunder realize films are not his cup of tea. Twitter controversies suit his style better. Stay Away at any cost.