Here are our MJ's picks for 5 Worst films for 2012
1. Joker-I saw the film for the entire length, and i am still wondering , who were the aliens? Sonakshi, Akshay? or those tacky haloween cosutme clad morons! Who was the joker? the audience? who came to watch it?
2. Khiladi 786- Migraine, temporary color blindness, partial deafness owing to ruptured ear drums are few of the side effects the movie should be informing people about. Along with the no smoking warning, Akshay kumar movies should contain a "caution this is an Akshay film" warning too.
3. Teri Meri Kahaani- Three generations, three love stories , and all that it could elicit out of me was the uncontrollable urge to kill everyone associated with the movie. Shahid Priyanka look like siblings,Kunal kohli needs some oxygen, and Prachi desai, well unlike her Bosch ad campaign line goes, her wait is just not over yet
4. Dangerous Ishq- To make a comeback is one thing, to comeback to mediocrity worse than what you were associated with in your heydays is another. Karissma hasnt changed one bit, still wooden, still cant act, still as boring! This was the most Dangerous one of them all, especially in 3D.
5. Players- well this one was a party cruise for all loosers of Bollywood. Every single one in the "star" cast spelt FLOP in neon strobes, and the film didnt disappoint either, sinking faster and lower than the Titanic. Why, Why oh Why is Sonam Kapoor unleashed on us so often?
1. Players - Didn't play
2. Agent Vinod - WTF were you thinking, Vinod?
3. Joker - Jokers for having made this
4. Khiladi 786 - Worst game ever
5. Aiyyaa - Aiyyaa mera sar
My top 5 duds and I am not going to say why :)
1. Will you marry me
2. Life ki to lag gayi
3. Kamaal dhamaal malaamal
5 Qasam se qasam se
5. chaalis chaurasi
4. jism 2
3. prem mayee
It's not only the year's worst, but generally the worst film made ever. I don't even think it deserves to know why it is the worst footage ever filmed. In a film where the camera lusts after women and sleazily caresses them, there's no point or purpose of a plot. What's even more disturbing is that it is directed by the same man who gave us Satya, Rangeela and Company.
2. Ekk Deewana Tha
This wasn't one film. It was many films rolled into one where Prateik Babbar woos a woman (being a real-life girlfriend helps), and keeps chasing her till she is married, old and dead. It was an unprecedented mess, so painfully boring that it was surprising these guys finished the film.
3. Khiladi 786
Just what is this film about ? How can you accept a film that doesn't even name its characters ? Formulaic is one kind, but this atrocious mess is by someone who got the formula of the formulaic terribly wrong.
It was shockingly hard to believe that they made a mockery out of what is one of the finest screenplays written, especially and particularly in the action-thriller genre. Abbas-Mustan handled Players with unmatched incompetence, and it was further made unbearable by a gang of very, very bad actors who looked like they were rehearsing for a shady play in the housing society.
5. Cigarette Ki Tarah
Sheer horror. There's no trick for a total blockbuster film, but there is one sure-fire trick to kill your own film. Get a hero (who does romance, action and daddy-things) with a repulsive screen-presence and you are doomed for life. This film wasn't just plain stupid, it took excessive pride in being so stupid. My favorite line ? "Ek ladkee ko dekha to aisa laga..jaise mandir ki ghantee ...jaise bubbly ka bunty" Enough said.
1. Housefull 2
I never thought they could top the banality of the first part and Sajid Khan proved me wrong.
2. Khiladi 786
You know you’re in trouble when Akshay Kumar isn’t the worst actor on screen despite all the hamming happening all around. Offensive, unapologetic, mind-numbingly dumb and cringe worthy.
3. Rowdy Rathore
I know most Hindi movies aren’t the smartest of cookies but Rowdy Rathore took that extra step in being downright regressive and offensive.
4. Jism 2
Pooja Bhatt managed to weave and inane plot and populated it with tree stumps masquerading as actors. A real stinker, this one is.
Bhandarkar picks up all the clichés associated with the film industry and dumps them on screen yet again without any attention to detail, plot or characters; a real effort to sit through.
There were some terrible movies I saw which probably you haven’t heard of and will never see. There is no point mentioning those. Here are the mainstream films I saw in 2012 which angered, annoyed, pained or bored me the most.
1. Aiyyaa - This film could have been eccentric and quirky but it was a giant mess. To quote Paul McCartney, there is a fine line between chaos and creation. The character Maina and the “What to Do/ Ijjat Pappad” song are the most annoying things my eyes are ears had to go through this year. Probably ever.
2. Shanghai – The single most boring film of the year. Oh and it’s also highly unoriginal (or should I say a failed adaptation?) with nothing new to offer. I’d rather watch Costa Gavras’ Z (1969) again.
3. OMG! Oh My God – Sure, it had some important/ interesting ideas but they were presented horribly and irresponsibly as if the audience is cattle and will lap it up. Oh wait, they kinda did. It's not a movie, it's an atheist's sermon. Nobody has the right to try and change anybody's concept of God. There is nothing else that made me more angry this year.
4. Teri Meri Kahaani – Romance was never this dull. I hope this will never be your or my kahaani.
5. Jism 2 – This film made eroticism seem like horror.