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All audience reviews of Roy

  • Devdas Catatonic Roy

    Smita Vyas Kumar (6,903 DM Points)

    Rated 
    1.0
    Desimartini | Updated - February 13, 2015 16:50 PM IST
    2.8DM (2107 ratings)

    Verdict - Zero story, plenty of melodrama and catatonic stares from all the actors make this a disaster

    RoyWatch trailerRelease date : February 13, 2015



    The Director and Producers of Roy owe me some money.

    350 (ticket) + 180 (two coffees needed to stay awake) + 270 (needless pizza eaten to ward off hunger pangs brought on by sheer boredom or depression or both).11,000 (spent at the Accessorize sale immediately after the movie, to snap me out of the catatonic state the movie had put me into).

    They nearly saved themselves another 30,000 as compensation for Deep vein thrombosis that could have been brought on by the interminably long movie . They also saved themselves for compensating me for my broken chappal when I almost tripped over a popcorn box while taking a walk up and down the row to avoid the said above DVT.

    And like VISA (Or Master) says.. the cost of my sanity? Priceless.

    The story is about a director writing his story almost on the sets every morning. Only he needs to wear a fedora and type on a typewriter. He falls in love with another director. Then bizarrely he finds her look alike to act in his movie but we never get to meet that actress (but who cares). Then the girl leaves him because she thinks he is stealing her story (but actually because he is boring but she is too polite) and he becomes Devdas for the rest of the movie. His hero in the movie he is writing in the meantime, is a thief who has a perfect catatonic look on his face. I doubt Ranbir shot for this film. He has one expression, which means it is obviously a Photoshop job on a body double. Then yada yada yada and the movie ends. Sorry guys I can't tell you the rest of this drivel.

    Anupam Kher is the healthiest heart patient I have ever seen. He has chubby pink cheeks and smokes cigars and does watch placements.

    Jacqueline Kennedy has amazing legs and they have to use those so they put in a chirpy song sequence randomly.

    There is a sad song that keeps threatening to morph into that irritating galiyaan song.

    There are lots of brooding, clever dialogues with some clever jazzy backgroudn music. Who speaks like that????

    When Anupam Kher dies and Arjun goes to meet him and stares at the dead body I almost hoped to see that he had grown two heads and had brains spilling out. Anything to add interest.

    There are no action scenes of the top notch much wanted thief doing world -class heists. He just sleeps with the catatonic double and steals the painting from her room. Then he shoots bullets aimlessly into the sea for the KLPD that happened on the heist.

    There are some nice lookinh horses and a cute dog. And Arjun looks nice.

    I am sorry I have degenerated into a blubbering hysterical mess. I am looking forward to MSG tomorrow.

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