Four young outsiders teleport to an alternate and dangerous universe, which alters their physical form in shocking ways. Their lives irrevocably upended, the team must learn to harness their daunting new abilities and work together to save Earth from a former friend turned enemy.
Four young outsiders teleport to an alternate and dangerous universe, which alters their physical form in shocking ways. Their lives irrevocably upended, the team must learn to harness their daunting new abilities and work together to save Earth from a former friend turned enemy. less
“Boring and unexciting, Fantastic Four ends up being rather bombastic!”
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Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the most boring superhero movie production to come out of the wombs of Hollywood. This is the only reboot that has taken humongous efforts to make sure you remember why you liked the previous two-logy (one short of a trilogy) better. If you’re a fan of the hit sitcom The Big Bang Theory, imagine the four main characters with superpowers; also add mammaries to one of them.
The whole point of a reboot is to take a story that’s already been told, package it better, and tell it again. Fantastic Four is too cool for all that. They just take off into their own world of predictable dialogues and PMS induced arguments assuming the audience is with them all the way. The casting is way off. It looks like actors who auditioned for Netflix and didn’t make it got included in this ensemble. Oh, and in case you were wondering why the Human Torch is Black (don’t worry, you’re not a racist yet) and his sister isn’t – she’s adopted. That’s right. You didn’t see that coming did you? That’s the most intriguing part about the Fantastic Four. And, Mr. Fantastic resembles that one kid who always got bullied in school. He’s got cool superpowers now, but ain’t nobody got time for that. Even with the option of stretching his face to the extent of changing his features, the director still stuck with a face that has pubes sprouting for a beard. Mr. Fantastic also excels at stating the obvious. For example: the villain is hell-bent on decimating the earth, when Mr. F steps in and says “We need to stop him!” Why, thank you. We would’ve never guessed that ourselves. You really are a superhero, Mr. F!
The Thing doesn’t wear pants in this one. He is one giant rock of a hard-on. By the time he gets to say “It’s clobbering time!” the audience is already checking their watches for when the end credits will roll. This movie is so bad, even Marvel denied them the mandatory after-credits scene.
If you still want to watch this, prepare for a tour of every inch of a lab you will never give a damn about. Ever. This movie has been shot over two locations – a lab; an even bigger lab. The rest is graphics, green screen, poor judgement, etc. Also, if you figure out what is exactly the bad guy’s superpower, do get in touch. We have much to discuss.