In Defence Of Kabir Singh: There's More To Shahid Kapoor Film Than Blanket Criticism About Misogyny

It is not for the first time that a film slammed by most critics is enjoying a dream run at the box-office. However, in Shahid Kapoor-starrer Kabir Singh’s case, the chasm between what the critics and the audience reaction is a little more complex. The entire narrative around the film has been based around one buzzword, ‘misogyny’, but there’s more to it.

But, first let us address the ultimate buzzword -- misogyny -- in relation to Kabir Singh. Etymologically speaking, misogyny is defined as the dislike, or contempt, or ingrained prejudice against women. Does Kabir Singh, the character, fulfill all the stereotypes? The answer is a resounding yes! But observe the character played by Shahid Kapoor a little closely and you can probably understand that his dislike or contempt is not directed at women exclusively.

In Kabir Singh, we are dealing with a flawed and embittered man here who is literally angry with the whole world. He treats his friends and his elder brother, who are trying their best to pull him out of the bottomless pit, in the same way. The only response he has to inner turmoil is violence and the only way he knows how to love is in this disturbingly territorial way. Remember the football scene in the beginning of the film? He beats up the errant footballer of the opposite team because he thought he was protecting the honour of his college! Here is a man whose idea of love and honour is all about violence -- emotional or physical.

When you ask why the romantic escapade of such a man is portrayed as an all-consuming love story, you are dehumanizing the character completely. No matter however flawed and toxic, every man has every right to fall in love. One does not and, in fact, should not agree to his definition, but it has every right to exist nevertheless.

But, the purpose of this exercise is not to negate his misogynistic ways. There can hardly be any debate around the fact that his behavior towards women is disturbing. But does having a misogynistic character automatically translate into a misogynistic film? There is perhaps a little more room for discussion here instead of painting the whole picture in broad strokes.

Another thing that has been completely missing from the narrative around Kabir Singh is a discussion about its cinematic quality. Misogynist character or not, there is a need, especially for critics, to understand and judge Kabir Singh on cinematic elements. While talking about Kabir Singh, there needs to be a discussion, a fair discussion on direction, performances, screenplay, editing and so many more elements that we generally discuss about while critiquing a film.

We have to ask ourselves a very daring question here. Can a film be misogynistic and ideologically problematic to some in its messaging but still be termed as a good film because of good direction, performances, screenplay and editing? Something to think about!

A director is trying to tell a story through every film in the way he deems fit. If we contest the right of a director to make a film on a character that challenges our notion of textbook moralities, we are actually telling a director what they can or cannot make a film on. Last time a group did that it was for a film named Padmaavat and the group was Karni Sena. It is exactly the same argument that the intelligentsia vehemently condemned when Karni Sena was doing it, saying Sandeep Reddy Vanga should not have made a film like this is in the same tangent.  Saying that Kabir Singh would encourage problematic behavior amounts to infantilizing the audience. The intelligentsia usually goes up in arms when the CBFC does that and chops out kissing scenes because they fear that this would corrupt the morality of the citizens of the nation. Well, whether its toxic men or intimate scenes, it is a part of everyone’s daily lives and we, the audience, who go to watch the film, we know what to get inspired by and what not to get inspired by.

Yes, problem occurs, when such behavior is glorified or romanticzed or even normalized in films. If we are talking about misogyny and toxic masculinity, films like Judwaa 2 or most Salman Khan films are far bigger offenders. Kabir Singh, as a film, is completely aware of the vices of its protagonist. Yes certain scenes are cringe-worthy, but so were the scenes of drug and abuse in Udta Punjab. They were well directed and brilliantly shot, but did audience believe that Udta Punjab was glorifying drug abuse as CBFC deduced from the film?

If not misogyny, Kabir Singh has been criticized for its toxic masculinity. Again, there is no doubt about the fact that Kabir Singh’a behavior is toxic, masculine or otherwise. But saying that the film celebrated it is categorically unfair. Even in the film, characters around Kabir are constantly calling him out and chastising him for his ways. No one, ever, in the entire length of the film, even hints that his behavior is correct. Yes, his friends, his family, the love of his life ultimately does not abandon him, but in a real world one does find friendships and bonds devoid of reason and moralities who stick to people when they are going through emotional turmoil and clinical substance abuse -- some relationships  just play out that way. As Shahid Kapoor put it, if we constantly keep judging character holding textbook morality as a yardstick, there is no way one can make films about real relationships and emotions.

Apart from Shahid, Kiara Advani’s character has also been bashed by many. Yes, a girl should not still cry and cling to her boyfriend when he slaps him for no apparent reason. As modern, educated woman it was difficult stomach that scene, but that is the arc of that character. Knowing that you are in a toxic relationship and not being able to get over it is also equally painful and hence her decision to be happy in the end cannot be judged.  Also, there is a certain double standard that needs to be addressed here. There has been so much conjecture about the scene where Kabir slaps Preeti, but there has been no mention about the scene where Preeti slaps Kabir outside the station. In reaction, Kabir laughs as if this was the most natural reaction to his action. There cannot be a better example to understand the psyche of this man who has confused love and violence so disturbingly. Also, it says us something about the nature and dynamics of their relationship. Some relationships are flawed, but do they not ultimately deserve a happy conclusion?

Cinema, after all is a subjective art and everyone, audiences and critics alike, have every right to process it in their own way. But when it comes to this particular film the bandwagon-like behavior is a little too evident.

It is not a potboiler that is a sure shot at the box-office. Kabir Singh is complex, dark and sometimes even difficult to stomach, but yet it made Rs.70.83 crores at the box-office on its opening weekend. There has to be a narrative working there and there needs to be a space where that narrative can be discussed without being judged. The film, the director and above all we as the audience deserve that.